REBOOT — “This Is How I’m Going to Die” - From My January 6 Reporting Archives
Here I document the police officer testimony from the first January 6 Committee Hearing and how they beat back “fascist traitors”.
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I first published this report on September 4, 2021. I am rebooting it as we head into the third anniversary of the Insurrection. I had to report on the testimony of the police officers at the Capitol on that dark and violent day, because I felt we needed to document their words. I was certain there would be a massive push to forget about the attempted coup, and this was before I learned from Ruth Ben-Ghiat that memory repression occurs in the lead up to authoritarian capture.
Here is my report from 2021:
‘This Is How I’m Going to Die’
On July 27, 2021, democracy exhaled.
Six months after domestic terrorists tried to overthrow the government in the name of Trump and God, police officers who were present on that malevolent day spoke their truth. With achingly powerful testimony, each described their attempts to hold the line, and the subsequent trauma they endured.
“This is how I’m going to die,” said Sergeant Aquilino Gonell, as he told of being beaten by the violent mob in what he described as a “Medieval battle.”
Gonell, a 15-year veteran of the Capitol Police, said: “Rioters called me traitor, a disgrace and that I, an Army veteran and a police officer, should be executed.” Gonell, who was born in the Dominican Republic and served eight years in the U.S. Army, described being punched, kicked, shoved, and sprayed with chemicals as he attempted to defend a Capitol entrance.
“There’s a continued shocking attempt to ignore or try to destroy the truth of what truly happened that day and to whitewash the facts into something other than what they unmistakingly reveal - an attack on our democracy by violent domestic extremists and a stain on our history and our moral standing here at home and abroad,” he said.
In one of the most telling passages of his statement, he said: “I did not recognize my fellow citizens who stormed the Capitol on January 6th or the United States that they claimed to represent.”
The video that was played throughout the hearing of the violence captured on that day from police body cams revealed brutal images and audio of people who had devolved into grotesque caricatures of human beings. They sounded like monsters.
KILLING IN THE NAME OF
“I heard chants of ‘Kill him with his own gun,’” said Michael Fanone of D.C.’s Metropolitan Police Department, as he described being beaten unconscious. “I was electrocuted again and again and again with a taser. I’m sure I was screaming, but I don’t think I could even hear my own voice. … I thought about using my firearm on my attackers, but I knew that if I did, I would be quickly overwhelmed, and that in their minds would provide them with the justification for killing me. So I instead decided to appeal to any humanity they might have. I said as loud as I could manage, ‘I’ve got kids!’”
That plea prompted someone in the crowd to drag him away, but not before he suffered a heart attack and a brain injury.
“I feel like I went to hell and back… but too many are now telling me that hell doesn’t exist or that hell actually wasn’t that bad. The indifference shown to my colleagues is disgraceful,” he said, as he pounded his fist on the table.
Daniel Hodges of the D.C. Metropolitan Police Department, who spent six years in the 116th infantry third battalion as an indirect fire infantryman, was soft spoken and direct, and he laid the blame squarely at the feet of Donald Trump.
He called the mob “terrorists” 15 times, also referring to them as “Donald Trump’s people,” and he noted key details: “The sea of people was punctuated throughout by flags, mostly variations of American flags and Trump flags. There were Gadsden flags. It was clear the terrorists perceived themselves to be Christians.
“I saw the Christian flag directly to my front. Another read, ‘Jesus is my savior. Trump is my president.’ Another, ‘Jesus is king.’ One flag read, ‘Don’t give up the ship.’ Another had crossed rifles beneath a skull, emblazoned with the pattern of the American flag. To my perpetual confusion, I saw the thin blue line flag, the symbol of support for law enforcement, more than once being carried by the terrorists as they ignored our commands and continued to assault us.
“A man in a QAnon hoodie exclaims, “This is the time to choose which side of history to be on.” A man whose shirt read, ‘God, guns, and Trump,’ stood behind him silently holding a Trump flag.”
He described the moment when they were unable to hold the line, and “terrorists pushed through the line and engaged in hand-to-hand combat.”
As someone tried to gouge his eye out, he was sprayed with a fire extinguisher.
“It was my turn in the meat grinder,” he said, as he detailed how a man who was foaming at the mouth kept bashing his head in. He said he did the only thing he could think to do: he screamed for help.
The last to speak was Harry Dunn, a Capitol Police officer, who asked for a moment of silence to pay respect to Brian Sicknick, an officer killed by the mob.
After telling the crowd he voted for Biden, he described a woman in a pink MAGA shirt, who “yelled, ‘You hear that guys? This n***er voted for Joe Biden.’ Then the crowd, perhaps around 20 people, joined in screaming, ‘Boo, fucking n***er.’ No one had ever, ever called me a n***er while wearing the uniform of a Capitol Police officer.”
He described the “words as weapons.”
Gonell noted the unpatriotism of attacking police officers “with the same flag they claim to represent” and said: “It was an attempted coup, and we were fighting for our lives.”
Committee member Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-Maryland) called the insurrectionists “fascist traitors” and Harry Dunn called it “war.” Six months after the attempted coup, the death count continues. Four officers who guarded the Capitol on January 6 have committed suicide.
A thoughtful moment came when Rep. Elaine Luria (D-Virginia) quoted Hemingway, on how these things happen: “Gradually, then suddenly.”
She said she doesn’t want to look back in 20 years with the regret of inaction.
Rep. Liz Cheney (R-Wyoming) noted the gravity of it all, by citing founding father Benjamin Franklin: “A Republic, if we can keep it.”
With the darkness of the Trump era still casting shade on the soul of America, the January 6 committee is taking the next right indicated step.
“There can be no moving on without accountability,” said Hodges. “There can be no healing until we make sure that this can’t happen again.”
Author Heidi Siegmund Cuda is an Emmy award-winning investigative reporter, who covers American politics for Byline Times.
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I originally published this on my Maewestside Tumblr blog, September 4, 2021. I will be revisiting my January 6 reporting archives in coming weeks. Bette Dangerous is a reader-funded publication. Thank you to all subscribers, and thank you to those who generously donate coffee tips.