“I am responsible, and I regret what I did” — Ex-fed Martin Sheil Scripts Trump’s ‘Acceptance’ Speech

“If I did it…” — Marty muses on what Trump might say to Judge Merchan lol

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At last week’s Happy Hour, our special guest Martin Sheil was giving us the deep background on how sentencing may go in Trump’s election interference/hush money case, where he was convicted on 34 felony counts by a jury of his peers.

Among the strikes against him, Marty mused, was his inability to throw himself on the mercy of the court. Trump comes from the Roy Cohn school of deny, deflect, counter attack. So Marty, a retired criminal investigator for the IRS who really has seen it all, decided to have a bit of fun.

Enjoy this latest from Marty, where he scripts what Trump might say to Judge Merchan in some sort of MAGA alternative universe:

Heidi

Trump's sentencing date is coming up, and I have been obsessing on Trump's opportunity to avoid jail time by making a full ‘acceptance of responsibility.'

I know. I know…

The Trumpster could never bring himself to do it, but we are allowed to fantasize - just like buying a single Mega millions ticket feeds fantasy.

So, bear with me a sec and just imagine the Fraudster coming into Judge Merchan's court and requesting a moment's time from the court.

Here’s how it could go…

Trump: Your Honor - if it pleases the court - I would like to make a statement.

I did the crimes, and now I am ready to do the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am responsible for all thirty-four Felony counts of filing false statements on which I was convicted!

I am responsible for drawing up the hush money reimbursement plan!

I am responsible for implementing the hush money reimbursement plan, and I personally am responsible for making or causing to be made - multiple false statements in advance of the plan to reimburse Michael Cohen for the hush money he fronted to Stormy Daniels to procure her silence with regard to her alleged affair with me. (Heidi note: ROFL)

I knowingly advanced the hush money reimbursement plan with the intent to conceal the actual payment of hush money from the FEC and other State and Federal governmental electoral regulatory authorities both prior to and subsequent to the 2016 Presidential election.

I am responsible, and I regret what I did. I have embarrassed myself, my family, my company and my many followers, and I apologize to anyone and everyone affected by my crimes as I was wrong in what I did and hereby formally acknowledge my wrongoing and wish the court to formally recognize my record of acceptance of responsibility.

Thank you your Honor. That is all I have to say in this court on this matter.

Donald J. Trump

PS - And oh, Your Honor - with regard to those gag order violations you fined me $10K - I do not regret a single thing about those and firmly believe I was within my constitutional right to express my opinion on those, and I personally hold you in Contempt of my right to express my freedom of speech during an election campaign. I will be personally filing suit against Your Honor for violation of my rights unless of course you elect to publicly accept responsibility in violation of my rights.

PSS - Judge Merchan - I urge you to do the right thing here and throw out your sentencing report - make me a free man - And make America great again!

Donald J. Trump, aka 45

So now we know what goes on in the mind of Marty lololololol.

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Art courtesy Steve Brodner

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Marty in his happy place…