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Author’s Note: In an attempt to reach a broader audience and to secure overseas votes, Reform UK leader Nigel Farage offers this guest op-ed.—hsc
Guest Op-Ed: ‘Hot Weather Immigrants’ Fault!’
By Nigel Farage
Everyone knows climate change is a hoax, trust me.
So why the hotter weather? Why is everyone sweating balls in Bromley in October? Instead of sweater weather, everyone’s just, well, sweaty.
It’s the immigrant invasion! They’re bringing hotter weather with their invasion! They’re invading with the sun, which follows them as they invade! It’s invasive! It’s hot! It’s a hot immigrant invasion!
Since you know climate change isn’t real, but your discomfort with immigrants is easily manipulated, I can conclusively confirm that immigrants have subscriptions to satellite services that allow them to bring their shitty tropical weather with them, and I — Nigel Farage — vow to protect you!
Once the avalanche of immigration is staunched and the weather cools, we’ll have a wellies flash mob.
Thank you for your attention to this matter. PS, I am not a disingenuous grifter.
Sincerely,
Nigel Farage
Russian Charm School Graduate, with honors
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Photo: Farage speaking at a Trump rally, 2020, courtesy Wikipedia
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