‘A Wretch Like Me’ and Other Stories of Women Who Persevere
Reflections on an Amazon bestseller xo
Last year, I co-published an Amazon bestseller - ‘A Wretch Like Me’ - an exquisite book about a woman who starved, and how she survived tremendous hardships.
Upon release, our book shot to #1 in the following categories - domestic abuse, depression, personality disorders, codependency, and sexual abuse.
It would seem that a book that covers that kind of terrain would be downbeat, and it is, for awhile. But if you keep reading, you will find a survival story about a woman who danced her way through life no matter what circumstances she faced.
The star of the story - Judy Ray Herzog - is the most un-selfpitying person I have ever met. And one of the greatest examples of the endurance of the human spirit.
Born in Wyoming during World War II, Judy literally starved. There weren’t words for what was wrong with her parents back then, but she and her siblings were left alone for weeks at a time, and a meal might consist of stealing food scraps from a neighboring dog dish, frying worms on the lid of a soup can, or sneaking into a movie theater to steal popcorn and gum drops from the floor.
That she was of mixed race in a very white world - 1940s Wyoming and Utah - further complicated things for our young heroine. Her beautiful olive skin earned her nicknames that I will not repeat, but the unkindness of the words lobbed at her still hurts me when I think about it today.
She married at 16 so she could eat, the first of many abusive marriages.
Writing her story gave me a view into a world that seems so long ago, and yet, as we witness attempts to rewind progress, I fear we could be heading back to a time when children weren’t fed at school, and when women had too few rights, and when people of color were denied basic human dignity.
I like to think we will fight before surrendering the future to the injustices of the past.
I called Judy to wish her a happy mother’s day, and found her having a ponderous moment. The subject of her reflections was a potential new husband, to be specific, Husband No. 7 - 4 & 5 were the same man, whom she married twice.
At 81, she is a stunner, so the fact that gentlemen suitors are vying for her hand is not in the least bit surprising
This is a woman who endured starvation, incest, murder, beatings, betrayal, and bigotry. And on one fateful day, when she’d had enough, she stood up for herself and never allowed anyone to hurt her ever again. She raised five children, often on her own, made a career for herself - and at one point, in the field of nursing, she was put in charge of an entire wing of a psychiatric ward - where she says she felt right at home. Lol.
I think it’s important we tell the untold stories with greater frequency and vital we cherish the stories of women of all ages and colors.
‘A Wretch Like Me’ - which opens with a quote from Rosie O’Donnell that notes “this book serves as a reminder to be kinder” - also begins with quotes from Judy, which I collected as I was interviewing her.
Among them:
“I always managed to find my own sunshine; beyond the clouds, there was always a little hope there.”
In one of our last interviews, Judy said she often looks up at the clouds, and has visions of passing through them and coming out clean and pure on the other side.
“I think I am on this earth going through all this because I’m working to be an angel,” she said, matter of factly.
Angels are everywhere. Sometimes, they’re the people you know.
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The next Bette Dangerous ‘Speakeasy’ Zoom for paid members is Sunday, May 21, 4 pm PT, featuring geopolitical analyst Monique Camarra, cohost of Kremlin File and WTF podcast, as well as the daily EuroFile Report. Monique will update us on Italy’s ‘Soft Fascism’ and the Ukraine war, which she documents daily.
Paid members will also receive invites to our new weekly Bette’s Happy Hour, a wellness checkin. This week’s checkin is Tuesday at noon, PT, and a registration invite will be sent to members on Tuesday morning.
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(Below, A Wretch Like Me - I came up with the book title after watching the original four-hour French version of ‘Les Miserables’ from 1934. I woke up in the middle of the night with these song lyrics in my head: “Amazing grace How sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me, I once was lost, but now I’m found, Was blind, but now I see…” - “Amazing Grace,” Christian hymn, 1779”)
(Judy, at 80💘)
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“I say a silent prayer of thanksgiving as I walk upon the earth.”-Audrey Peterman.
“May the viral hope for truth and humanity wash away the chaos of these years.”-S.C., Bette community member
“Something Sacred never dies in almost all of us, that can hear the invitation of Truth…”-words from a Bette Dangerous community member
“Nothing but blue skies from now on…”-Irving Berlin
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